2021: Sunday
"Sunday" (Heathen)

Look to yourselves. If you can leave the city and still do your work, the Khan does not forbid it, but he hopes you can close yourself up here in your compound, and carry on. When the plague passes we can reconvene.
- Nadir, in Kim Stanley Robinson's The Years of Rice and Salt (Book Four: The Alchemist: These Things Happened)

It were as possible for me to say I lov'd nothing so well as you; but believe me not, and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing.
- Beatrice, in William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing (Act IV Scene 1)

A white scar is one that’s nearly healed, but the skin can lie.
- Chris O’Leary, "New Killer Star" (Pushing Ahead of the Dame)

Just conversations I've had. Some this year, some earlier. Snippets from them are separated by horizontal lines. My often-insightful interlocutors speak in blue. Some details adapted/removed to keep them anonymous.

1. Sons of the Silent Age ('Take to the fire')

    All I see is all I know
    Let's take another way down
    (sons of sound and sons of sound)
    - "Sons Of The Silent Age" ("Heroes")

. . . we live in a competitive society. Those guys in big oil have people who depend on them, like anyone else. If they're in a system in which that's what they have to do, who can blame them?

We shouldn't always do what systems tell us to. What are you going to do, go out and shoot people?

I just think that as admirable as individual heroism is, we can't rely on it to solve the world's problems. Systems have such an influence on individual behaviour that a problem like climate change requires the system to change.

But we aren't really talking about a single system.

We have many systems that co-evolve.

That's exactly what we have, and you've named it.

But I wonder whether co-evolution is enough to meet some challenges. Perhaps what's needed is a shock to the system.

Maybe.

I hope you are keeping well in these uncertain times. NYC is on fire. Unclear when we will be back to normalcy -- I had several trips planned this year, all of which have been cancelled -- but one positive from this experience has been the opportunity to pause and reflect, and maybe indulge in a bit of nostalgia every once in a while. Being stuck at home takes me back to many summers passed.

If you're in Manhattan you must be smashing it. What I know of the place comes from what everyone hears, walking around a Doom map which is a scale model of the city (they might have put a cyberdemon above Times Square) and reading about Bowie (also references like Coney Island in "Slip Away" and Battery Park in "New Killer Star").

Different customers are facing different circumstances. Some have cancelled because they can no longer afford tutoring, but there are plenty of parents who won't compromise on their kid's education if they don't think the online school adaptations cut it. And as far as we know, some tests will still go ahead in May, as will the HSC this year. Pandemic or not, people still want to be as ready as they can be for these! They can't get face-to-face help, so management says we are experiencing an unprecedented increase in demand, which is expected to continue for weeks, possibly months. We're hiring.

It is good to hear that the guys you work for are getting a lot of work. Take as much as you can and save it for a rainy day. There is a lot of potential in this online learning caper. There's a worldwide audience out there. . . . There is a potential audience of millions out there. And here we are in Australia with knowledge, qualifications, credibility, and technology...

Might one good side effect of the pandemic be reduced greenhouse gas emissions and a fix for the global warming problem?

Not according to my calculations. The persistence of different GHGs in the atmosphere varies considerably. Carbon dioxide gets "top billing" not because it is the most potent, but because it tends to linger in the atmosphere.

It doesn't really have a simple half-life because of the way it progresses through the climate system, but I used 100 years in the simulation. Even for a 10-year pandemic, the temperature anomaly in 2100 is different, but only by about a hundredth of a degree. This is because carbon dioxide persists in the atmosphere for a century or more, and the effect of the reduced emission is "smeared out" over that time. Some hard numbers can make this easier to understand: if the temperature anomaly is determined by emissions over the preceding hundred years, a 10% reduction for 10% of that hundred years would only reduce the change by about 10% of 10%, or 1%.

It might be better to not tell people that. If we go through all of this and it doesn't help, they'll say what's the point, this problem is clearly too hard to solve, or will cost too much.

We have lots of COVID cases in Victoria, because we have the worst premier.

It's a tough job being premier . . . I see you've discovered our ellipse tool. Is that premier Daniel Andrews?

Uh, now it is. Massive ears.

I could get to like this stay-at-home life. While I continue to work hard, the stultifying, depressing atmosphere of the office seems far away. I am in a state of denial about the future. We could lose our jobs within weeks, if not days. Yet everything seems so relaxed and ordinary problems seem far away. I feel cocooned.

I left the house for the first time in 3 weeks to pick up a laptop for my landlord because his work is quiet and he needs to be amused. They're becoming hard to come by because many need them now, and retailers are running out of them while the supply chain is in pieces.

I heard the number of new cases today is 1218. Didn't we see a concert with a piece by that name?

I think that was the "1812" Overture.

I'm having an interesting day. Over the past few weeks, a wound on my left leg (a spider bite from years ago that never healed properly) has sort of flared up and bled semi-regularly. As I might have mentioned some time ago, I don't have a medicare card, haven't seen a doctor in ages and basically only see them under duress.

But this morning before my first session I noticed a green tinge there and that's scared me into getting help. So I sorted out medicare and went looking for a doctor, but they're not very available because they don't like doing face-to-face right now or are too busy with vaccinations. While walking around the wound opened up and oozed. Anyway, best I could find was a pharmacist who thinks it's infected and told me not to touch it but head to RPA immediately.

Thanks for letting me know Anthony and please get it seen to ASAP!! I pray that it hasn't gone septic... Yeah man, I would head straight for the ER and get it seen to today, you might be able to get a jab as well if you sweet-talk the doc! Bring a book( or laptop!) cus it always takes ages....

You've booked a long appointment, which means you must be worried about something . . . that is infected as. Why didn't you come sooner?

Just thought it would heal on its own, as it has before.

Well we all have our beliefs . . . the germs might be winning now, but you look very fit, so with these antibiotics you can beat this. I think this'll do you a lot of good.

I actually found a doctor and just got back, doc says it's infected as, and must be taken seriously, but no signs of spread or sepsis so if I follow the course of oral antibiotics I probably won't land in hospital. Hopefully no surprises to come in the blood and swab results.

Aish, well good news that it will go away relatively easily and no sepsis!

. . . The doc thinks that the infection on my leg might be getting beaten, blood test came back with good indications but thinks it's very worrying that we can't see what's going on under that crust. He's referred me to a vascular surgeon for debridement of the eschar. I see this guy tomorrow so might not be available to speak or keep moving, for today. It potentially requires an operation under full anaesthetic at RPA. If so I'll try to make it soon because that thing presents an ongoing infection risk, even if it's ok for now.

So how did this start?

I think I was bitten by a spider about two years ago, while I was sleeping. A raised white scar formed and my theory is that it was an abscess. Something got into it recently, infected the fluid in there, leading to an infection with a volume that my immunity couldn't handle.

Sounds plausible. I don't see any obvious vascular cause here. Ordinarily I would get you into an operating theatre in short order to remove this, but the situation with hospitals now, with this delta wave of the pandemic, is that they only deal with life-threatening cases. And I don't think I can sell this as that.

So still missing 2 questions planned for the review. I had the best of intentions but this leg problem was distracting me. That operation the surgeon wanted to do, but couldn't get an operating theatre for, to remove the 8 cm eschar? I went off-script and took it off myself a few days ago. My substitute for anaesthetic was taking hours to do it very delicately. To show for that I have grosser pictures. But the most recent one (after I spent more hours removing hardened slough) seems to show healing. In the age of covid, we must operate on ourselves, I guess.

Jesus dude, well I hope you've just over-doused with antiseptic!

That's what it looks like.

Ewww. Did you ever see the spider?

No, I was sleeping. But I don't know what else it could have been. After this I'm going to an emergency department.

Seriously?

I'm one of the surgeons here. There's no quick fix for this. We need to stop the infection, get back to healthy tissue and start the healing process.

Would you like to guess where I am?

Hospital?

Yep.

COVID or spider?

Spider - it got worse.

I'm not going to lie you, I'm tired.

I'm not going to lie to you either, I'm exhausted.

Okay we're both tired so let's do something relaxing, I reckon equilibrium.

. . .

I don't know what they're doing to my arm here. Oh, antibiotics, intravenous, like, nuclear antibiotics.

LEONARD: How can I heal? How am I supposed to heal . . .

These crutches are yours now. I'll show you how to use them. Do you think you can step through?

I doubt it . . . ow, okay no.

Okay maybe later. But I can still show you how to go up and down stairs on these. . . . Remember, whether going up or down, bad leg goes to hell and good leg goes to heaven . . .

It was excruciating when they cleaned the wound properly. For pain, that was a ten out of ten.

I got a ten out of ten when I was at my father's sawmill. It was freezing and I was wearing three layers. It's good that I was wearing those layers . . . the equipment was worn but it was still my fault for reaching across. A circular saw came down on my wrist, it was stopped by the bone. They had to clean it with jets. I kept asking whether I would lose the hand and the doc kept saying he didn't know, like dangling a turd.

We live and we learn.

Yes we do. Anyway, let's talk about enzymes.

("Funkytown" plays)

Can you hear that?

Hear what?

Music . . . I don't think it's coming from my end. Much like the GAT question about art appreciation that you mentioned, I don't know how to react to this.

Can you still teach?

Sure. . . . So, we're meant to illustrate enzyme activity as a process with these graphics . . .

I don't know what I'm doing here. He looks happy.

That's very clever.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Very creative. A while ago I had a kid who —

— the year 5 who's a talented drawer?

— no, this guy was in year 6 and like you he was from Victoria. He drew a pic of Daniel Andrews with massive ears. I'd never noticed how big his ears were.

Yeah, his ears are huge.

Now I can't unsee how big they are. . . . Well, the platform is telling us that time's up.

Yes it is, and you know where my rancid little mind is telling me to go?

Bed?

No, to Funkytown, which I think was released in 1979 by Lipps, Inc.

("Funkytown" plays again)

I'll tell you where I want to go: Suffragette City.

Is that a place?

David Bowie 1972. About a good kind of suffering.

But that's unhealthy.

It sounds cool, if nothing else. You know, you're the only student I've had here who put music on in session.

Over the next few weeks I'm going to be incredibly annoying, there will hopefully be some more firsts.

(Selene "speaks")

There goes my parrot, maybe the last time you'll hear her.

She must know I'm leaving. I hate to cut short our last session, but I'm so tired. I gotta just get ready for the next day. You've always been there, through thick and thin. You've seen my high points, and my low points.

We've both been very busy. But soon maybe you'll go to Funkytown, and I'll find my way to Suffragette City.

Yeah I was thinking about that, back then. Funkytown, what was I doing? "Suffragette City" David Bowie. Well yes, I am going to Funkytown. I hope your spider bite has healed.

Well it's recently become reinfected, it's a slow process but it'll hopefully have healed by the end of the year.

I felt so shit seeing you tutoring from hospital. You need to learn how to take breaks, man.

7. Omikron ('The beginning of an end')

    Omikron
    You didn't feel us coming
    In this lonely crowd
    It's always time
    - "New Angels Of Promise" (Omikron: The Nomad Soul version)

What do you think of Omicron?

I don't know, if we're all vaccinated we should be okay?

How's life in one of the world's great cities as we enter a time in which cities supposedly aren't as important? As far as can be discerned at this point, any likely observable lasting effects?

The city has had its ups and downs. Over the summer, it seemed like things were back to some degree of normalcy; by the fall (er, autumn), apartment rents suggested that NYC was fully back in business, and gearing for a major comeback. But now Omicron is here, and this nomad soul looks set to pick up where Delta left off.

8. Nothing Remains

    Nothing remains . . .
    For in truth, it's the beginning of nothing
    And nothing has changed
    Everything has changed
    - "Sunday" (Heathen)

Out of ten rooms, you've got 6 filled. Gotta get some people! Take some pictures and stick them in the ad.

Not of the front, S. put some holes in it. He scared the girls away. When he went on that rampage, I was getting calls from all the girls saying they were scared because he was screaming and banging on their doors.

Yeah, J. texted me when it was happening to say she was scared.

Then they all left. They didn't say it was the reason, but I think it might have been. Actually one of them told me she didn't feel safe with him living here. Glad those upstairs guys are gone. See, N., she was a top girl and she couldn't stand them. She said one day they were queued up outside her door. She hears a knock and she sees them there. Later she's like, 'what are these fuckwits doing lined up here at my door?'

Haha, there's a Spanish word for fuckwit?

Oh yeah, we've got words for everything, we mix it up.

I miss those upstairs guys too.

Really?

They gave the place character.

If you need masks I can send you some.

Maybe we are close to the end, and I haven't needed many masks! But I have needed to go outside to see doctors (and hospital once) about a nasty wound resulting from a spider bite. I could hardly walk back in September, but almost nothing remains of the wound now. That hurt.

Do you live close to the city these days?

Still do. At least for the rental market, close to the city the pandemic has a real effect. With no international students, and more people staying at home without needing to get into the city to work, this place I live in is somewhat vacant. Well my landlord also blames a maniac we had for scaring people away. Anyway, as with any business, there must be some uncertainty that comes with not knowing how much of this is permanent. And since the pandemic has affected most business types, this kind of uncertainty is everywhere. But I suppose any business that serves a somewhat-essential need, like a roof overhead, has to come back eventually?

This world can be tiresome and retreating from it during the pandemic has probably done some people a bit of good. Less world and more time. If only these things were perfectly interconvertible. A surgeon in hospital looked at my wound and told me there was 'no quick fix' for it. No amount of money could be substituted for the time it would take to heal. And whatever else is required, we seem to need time to get past this pandemic, and haven't found a substitute for that.

Illustrations: An eschar on my lower left leg that scared me; Crimson Dark: Chapter 6: "Damage": page 37; xkcd: "Normal Conversation"; one of my students draws premier Daniel Andrews; xkcd: "Business Greetings"; an eschar on my lower left leg that scared me; xkcd: "Immunity"; self-surgery on my eschar; infection spreads; Crimson Dark: "Damage": page 19; still from Memento; Crimson Dark: "Damage": page 21; one of my VCE Chemistry students draws with enzyme demo layers; xkcd: "Virus Consulting"; almost nothing remains of my leg wound; Crimson Dark: "Damage": page 47.